Spotlight on Anxiety: Intolerance of Uncertainty during Uncertain Times

If we’ve heard it once, we’ve heard it a thousand times:  These are uncertain times we’re living in.

Couched in the mantra, “We’re all in this together,” the distress associated with the uncertainty we’re living in (How much longer will we be quarantined?  When will it actually be safe to go out to eat again? Will there be camp this summer?  How long until there’s a vaccine?  What about school in the fall?  What about my job?) is supposed to be a shared experience – and in that sharing should come some measure of comfort.  No one is being singled out for an extra dose of uncertainty.  We’re all in this together.

But for some of us, this extra shot of uncertainty is something else altogether. For some of us, uncertainty in general – not just about the post-pandemic world – can feel intolerable.  And the current public health crisis is throwing us for a major loop.

I’m talking about something referred to as intolerance of uncertainty.

What is Intolerance of Uncertainty?

It is the anxiety you feel over the idea that something bad will happen, when the actual odds of those bad things happening are so, so low.  It's the feeling that if you just worry enough, you’ll have some kind of control over the outcome.  Intolerance of uncertainty is the re-reading of that email 7, 8, 9 or more times, checking and rechecking the tone of the email, looking for mistakes, thinking and rethinking who you copied, who you didn’t copy – because you’re not 100% sure, beyond doubt, what the response to the email is going to be, and it’s only if you worry about it – a lot – that you might feel some semblance of control over the outcome.  It’s the avoidance of certain situations or experiences because you can’t be sure what will happen, from things as seemingly inconsequential as trying out a new restaurant to more consequential things, like networking events, trips with friends or family, or starting new relationships.

Intolerance of uncertainty is a hallmark of a variety of anxiety disorders.  You’ll see it in social anxiety disorder, health anxiety, postpartum anxiety, panic disorders, and generalized anxiety disorder.  It is the experience where any uncertainty – anything about which you cannot be 100% sure, beyond doubt – brings on excessive worry.  It can be worry about what your friends think of you, worry about your partner’s commitment to you, worry about your health or the health of your loved ones, worry about your boss’s impression of you… So many things can become the target of incessant worry for people who are intolerant of uncertainty because, in this life, almost nothing is truly certain:  100% sure, beyond doubt.

The good news:  you can build your tolerance for uncertainty.  You can spend much, much less time worrying.  You can see the world as a thing to experience and explore, not a thing to fear.  You can have more energy and time to spend on things that you can control, things that will enhance your experience of life.  You can – really – with the guidance of a therapist and the willingness to practice.

With the help of a therapist, you’ll embark on a series of behavioral experiments where you start to systematically interrogate the claims your mind is making about you and your ability to withstand uncertainty.  You’ll challenge the predictions you make about the likelihood that you’ll experience a negative outcome in the face of uncertainty, as well as your sense of your ability to handle a negative outcome if it should arise.  You’ll start to build up evidence – proof – that often times, in the face of uncertainty, you don’t ultimately experience negative outcomes, and even if you do, you are actually able to handle it.  These behavioral experiments start small, with lower-risk uncertainties (going to see a movie that you haven’t fully researched), building your way up to more significant uncertainties (going to that networking event).

If you are weighed down by worry and are looking for another way to live, reach out for help.  It’s true:  these are uncertain times we’re living in.  And it might be this way for a while to come.  So, get some help if you need it.